How much truth do these axioms hold? Are they just an excuse not to intercede? Of course it’s true that children DO have to learn to deal with conflict and we SHOULDN’T always jump in. However, with research suggesting that adults believe they intervene 75% of the time while children say adults intervene 25% of the time, we’re clearly not as observant as we’d like to think!
Does bullying occur in the early years? Absolutely! And there are studies to show that bullies can start young and carry on bullying for many, many years. So it’s important to do as much as we can to curb this problem while teachers and other significant adults still have the influence to intercede. By the time kids get to upper primary teacher input is less effective and often unwelcome.
This post is based on recent research articles, the most relevant of which are listed at the end of this post. Read to the end to grab your free poster!
YOU CAN LISTEN TO THIS POST IN PODCAST FORM HERE!
What is bullying?
Bullying behaviour is generally defined as repetitive and intentional harm to another, where there may be an imbalance of physical or social power. Of course, this is not fixed. I have seen younger, smaller children bully kids nearly twice their size so it’s important not to assume the accepted stereotype is always true.
In the early years bullying tends to be direct: grabbing a toy from another child, spur of the moment hitting or pinching, comments such as “I don’t want to be your friend anymore” or “I don’t want to play with you.” Boys tend to favour physical aggression whereas girls are more prone to relational aggression such as verbal attack and actively cutting victims out of the social group.
Role definitions
Bully: someone who is proactively aggressive – that is, they purposely cause trouble.
Victim: someone who is being bullied. Often they will be submissive and insecure. They may have social awkwardness or physical characteristics that isolate them from belonging to the group. Please note that actually calling someone a victim or giving them that label is not empowering and should, in most cases, be avoided.
Bully-Victim: someone who is reactively aggressive – for eg, when they feel victimised they will react quickly with a high level of aggression. They may be anxious and emotional and these children are at the greatest risk of remaining both a bully and a victim for the long-term and developing psychological and behavioural disorders.
Bystanders: witnesses to the bullying. Some stand up for the victim but statistically most just watch due to a mixed reaction of passive acceptance or fear of attracting the bully’s attention. 88% of episodes occur in front of classmates and whether intentional or not, this makes bullying a group activity.
At risk indicators (of being either a victim or bully):
- low working memory
- low planning and organisation skills
- poor self-control
- minority ethnic groups
- speech disorders such as stuttering
- physical or mental disability
- autism spectrum
- lower IQ
- parents who were bullied (doubles the risk)
- children of single parents and lower socio-economic groups
When and where does it happen?
Whenever there are 2 or more children together there is potential for bullying, especially with young children who are still learning to control their own behaviour. It only takes a few seconds, after all, so it can be difficult to catch. Bullying is not a one-off episode, it’s the repetitive and often intentional nature of it that marks it as a behaviour that needs thoughtful intervention.
Bullying can occur anywhere and classrooms, play dates, playgrounds and parks are all prime candidates. While bullying occurs in front of adults, especially with young children, it’s more prevalent when there’s less supervision. Adding an extra adult to a play area can significantly reduce, and definitely shorten, bullying episodes.
What are the consequences?
- depression, anxiety and sleep problems (for many years)
- not wanting to go to school (or wherever the bullying is occurring)
- lower academic achievement
- loneliness and isolation from the group (and as a result difficulty in developing relationships)
- internalising or externalising problems
- as children get older the consequences become increasingly severe
What can be done?
- In educational environments the most effective methods are to have long-term school-wide policies which include parent meetings or training.
- Increase supervision of play areas.
- Tell an adult: we need to create an atmosphere where children feel OK about reporting bullying. Research shows that with young children adult intervention is important. Victims are given a sense of security and protection, bystanders are empowered to act on what they see, and bullies are forced into thinking twice before causing trouble.
- Find a friend: bullying is significantly decreased when the victim has even one friend who will look out for them and intercede when bullying occurs. Pairing an at-risk child with a confident and empathic friend is an extremely positive step.
- Change the group culture: If it becomes unacceptable within a group to bully it can break the cycle. With young children we can use a number of ideas.
- Literature: reading appropriate stories and talking about them as a group will expose children to different view points and show them that it’s OK to be different. To be tolerant. In fact, differences are something to celebrate. There are also books specifically covering bullying issues (I have listed some below).
- Role playing: using puppets, have children acting out various scenarios that require children to think about the situation from another child’s perspective. We want to encourage empathy.
- Discussion: invent bullying scenarios for discussion prompts and have the group discuss why something is bullying, why it’s not OK and what can be done by the victim, bully and bystanders to improve the situation.
- Daily Check In: start the day with children talking about how they feel, using phrases such as “I feel sad because…” to build empathy among the group. Get them singing along and Talking About Feelings with Five Little Ducks.
- Teach conflict resolution: all children benefit from learning these skills. Perhaps have a peace bench, a place where two children can sit and take it in turns to tell each other how they are feeling or why they might be upset.
- Peace Journals: Have children regularly draw how they are feeling. This gives adults and friends another way of checking on them and may reveal emotions that have not been expressed verbally.
- Teach skills to victims: As well as encouraging them to tell a teacher or friend some children have social issues that make them a target. Perhaps they physically crowd other children, constantly speak out of turn or always want to play their favourite game. Actively teaching them to be aware of how their behaviour annoys others and working to find solutions will benefit them greatly in the long-term. This is also where a friend can play a crucial role by giving gentle reminders as they learn.
- Teach skills to bullies: Bullies can also need help with social skills. However, they can also improve by increasing their working memory, understanding the importance of rules and consequences, learning problem solving and organisational skills and seeing the how the results of their actions affect others. Keep in mind that children with a lower IQ can become frustrated trying to learn new behavioural patterns. One researcher suggested that a bully will often do well if given a leadership position in the classroom.
- Work with parents: Let parents know what school policies are and how bullying issues are dealt with. This will help them know what to do if their child comes home upset. It’s most important that parents can have confidence in encouraging their child to tell a teacher or friend as soon as they feel threatened. Keep in mind that some parents of victims will have been bullied as children themselves which may make it difficult for them to remain objective. In such instances counselling intervention may be helpful for the family as a whole. Research suggests that parents who are inconsistent, overly permissive, or overly harsh can be encouraging long-term bullying behaviour as these children do not learn to negotiate conflict constructively at home.
Research Extras
- While poor self-control was an indicator of bullying behaviors, attention deficit issues were not.
- TV watching amongst 3-5 year-olds did not affect bullying behaviours.
Recommended Books to Read with Children
- Billy Bully
by Ana & Alvaro Galan & Steve Simpson
- Bully B.E.A.N.S.
by Julia Cook & Anita DuFalla
- Bye-Bye, Big Bad Bullybug!
by Ed Emberley
- Chrysanthemum
by Kevin Henkes
- One
by Kathryn Otoshi
- One of Us by Peggy Moss & Penny Weber
The Recess Queen
by Alexis O’Neill & Laura Huliska-Beith
- Stand Tall, Molly Lou Melon
by Patty Lovell & David Catrow
You might like to use this free animated video of Five Little Ducks and Their Feelings to get your kids talking about their emotions.
There is also an accompanying learning pack to the video that you can find on Teachers Pay Teachers or Teacher’s Notebook.
Free Poster
Please click this link Bullying: What Should I Do? to download this poster. I hope it’s helpful to you. Point 3 is particularly important for those children who react aggressively to bullying as learning self-control is very important if they are to stop the victim-bully cycle while young.
Research Articles
Hughes, Stephanie. Bullying: What speech-language pathologists should know. Language, Speech, and Hearing Services in Schools, Vol 45, Jan 2014: 3-13. doi: 10.1044/2013_LSHSS-13-0013
Lavine, Emily & Tamburrino, Melissa. Bullying among young children: Strategies for prevention. Early Childhood Education Journal, Vol 42, 2014: 271-278. doi: 10.1007/s10643-013-0600-y
Verlinden, Marina & Veenstra, Rene et. al. Detecting bullying in early elementary school with a computerized peer-nomination instrument. Psychological Assessment, Vol 26, No.2, 2014: 628-641. doi: 10.1037/a0035571
What are your favourite getting-along books to read with children?
